Saturday, July 5, 2008

Argh no I've reached my Flickr photo limit for the month already! I've got so many more photos to upload. Now they'll have to wait till next month.

I feel like all my life I've been pressured to be more outgoing and outspoken- pressured by the education system and by people around me. The education system places emphasis on grooming leaders, people who are eloquent, outspoken a go-getter and active in many areas. My 12 years of schooling has only made me painfully aware of how I'm lacking in those qualities. No matter how I try, I can't quite be like that. Even when I speak up in class, do something that I think 'qualifies' me, I realise that my tone and manner itself shows that I'm not that kind of person. Perhaps it's simply because I can't let go of my nature. I'm saying this matter-of-factly, not with any bitterness towards the failings of the system or resentment towards those who have 'made it'. That's probably not the person I aspire to be. What character traits do I want in myself? Creativity, an open mind (not to discriminate!), love of life, compassion, strong morals and humility are the major ones.

I remember when I was a young girl my mum, as a gift to the four of us (my two brothers, my sister and I) wrote a single chinese character that she felt represented each of us on individual pieces of paper. Each of us had a different character. I think that there was much wisdom in that act. Isn't it much more interesting that people are different? My mum treasures us because each of us is unique. I think that's what school should do- recognise our individual qualities and strive to bring them out.

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