Photography

Most people might not know that I enjoy photography. The photographic lens, for me, possesses the magical ability to capture the moment and convey a certain emotion. The first time I travelled without my parents (in Sec 2 when I went with my drama club members to put up a performance in Perth), I was kind of clueless about cameras. Being the amateur that I was, I neglected to bring any extra camera batteries and a charger. I was so shocked when my camera ran out of batteries :). I felt like I was allowing many precious moments to slip away. Ever since then, I've made sure to carry extra batteries and a charger with me when I travel. I don't necessarily try to take only postcard-pretty shots of a place, but like to take photos of the people and their activities as well. So, here's some recent photos:

Clockwise: coloured glass marbles, chair legs in motion, flowers in my room, a tear in a piece of paer, lace detail on my mum's old nightgown, my sis lying on the bed.

Half of these were taken by my sister and half by me.

Post-travel depression

Suffering from another bout of post-travel depression which seems to hit me whenever I return from abroad... in this case I feel oddly empty in the absence of a big crowd of relatives. And I miss my little cousin! Being the youngest in the family I never got the chance to be a big sister to someone else. The next time I see him is likely to be one year later. Sigh.

On a more positive note, next year is going to be a good one 'cos my (another) cousin's getting married! I'm excited 'cos this is the first time I'm experiencing the marriage of a close relative.

I'm feeling rather stressed now because I haven't had time to do my homework. The busiest time of the year hasn't even arrived and I'm so frazzled already. Depression could not have come at a worse time.

Chinese New Year has come again... bringing with it new clothes (more accurately, LOADS of new clothes). I always face this problem of having nowhere to wear my clothes to. Most of my days are spent in school wearing the dreary grey uniform. Grey is actually a very stylish colour, but on a uniform, coupled with the design, just makes one feel so, so tired after a looong school day.

Faced with the prospect of BRIGHT, new clothes, delicious food (homemade yu sheng!), meeting relatives I haven't seen for a year, a break from school and basically a change of scenery to Malaysia, how more lucky could I get? Must remind myself to get some homework done while I'm there!

Am I EVER unhappy? Definitely yes. Sometimes I can't even figure out exactly why I'm feeling moody. Do I ever feel like an abject failure? Slightly. At times like this I always remember all the things I'm blessed with. With every onset of fear, or loneliness, or dejection, I remind myself that I can't let these emotions control my life. Sometimes I question myself whether something that I'm doing is right. But I think ultimately there is no right thing, and there's only myself to answer to.

Pride is such a precious feeling, and I felt it today. I think nothing beats seeing results after a period of hard work at something you feel passionate about. This time it was my 3D modelling project for art. My heart just skipped hearing the praises of my classmates and teacher. It really makes me feel better about myself. But at the same time, I know that I should not be overly dependent on others' praises in order to feel confident about my own ability.

Isn't the doggy so cute in the camouflage print?

It's only been a week since school started and already it feels like it's been going on forever. I'm worried about whether I've bitten off more than I can chew but I'm confident that if I work hard I can manage well. When buying a pastry from BreadTalk, I was very pleased to hear the lady in front of me and a gentleman behind me both decline a plastic bag. Hopefully this means that eco-fever is catching on in Singapore.

I'm quite amazed that some people are unaware that NJ is an AEP school. Someone didn't even know that Art is an A-level subject! The most common reaction I get is "What do you do in Art, draw?" Ah well. I thought about how art seems absent in most people's lives. I realized that it might be due to the somewhat exclusive nature of the art world. Ordinary people can hardly afford to collect great art. However, I think we all should have a little art in our world, not just visual art but other art forms like dance, theatre and music as well.

Some photos of Waseda Senior High School in Japan which I visited:

School started today. It feels strange that I'm a JC2 student now, considered a senior. I still felt nervous being around people on the first day of school. Then it hit me that maybe it is because I'm not confident in myself. When teachers ask me questions in class (like today), I freak out and lose my head. I often wish I had the courage to speak up in class. I'm trying to now, bit by bit. Why do I lack self-confidence? It might be because, as the youngest child, I've always had others make decisions for me and I'm not used to speaking up for myself. That doesn't mean I don't have an opinion. I do. It's just that I find it hard to voice. So I really want to work on that. Well, new year's resolutions usually don't work out but I hope this one does. That plus the one where I said I'd exercise! I say that every year but never get round to actually doing it. Oh, and my other resolutions include cutting back on excessive spending, helping people in need (though I'm not sure how), eating healthily, curbing slacking, spending more time doing art and writing and getting down to serious studying. I'll be a saint if I can achieve all this.

Holidays!

I really enjoyed myself during the Japan trip! Just BEING there feels amazing. I feel like I've learnt alot by taking up a third language. It exposes you to new ways of thinking. Before that, about the only thing I knew about Japan was sushi. Now, I'm preparing my coursework for next year, the topic being the westernization of the japanese diet. Should be interesting! Along the way I've met some great teachers who really helped me fall in love with the language and the culture. Yep! The three best moments of the trip for me:

1) DISNEYLAND! The whole day was just a SCREAM! Loved the smoked turkey and different-flavoured churros. Especially enjoyed myself on the rollercoasters and screamed my head off, though my classmate kept telling me that it wasn't scary at all. The sensation of being in mid-air, of wind whipping through your hair is fantastic. The Christmas decorations are lovely too.

2) Party with Japanese high school students + yosakoi dance
I actually got up to do the dance with the performers! It was VERY fun even if I looked like a mess of flailing limbs.

3) Being greeted by the sea in Kamakura
We reached there when it was almost sunset and the beach looked beautiful. What intrigued me was that the sand actually sparkles. Nice to see the locals relaxing there too.

I loved the food too, because I love Japanese food. Luckily, I can expect more good food to come 'cos I'm making my annual trip to Penang this Saturday. Besides, roasting a turkey at Christmas is a tradition for my family. I hope I don't overeat! I threw up my Christmas dinner in Penang last year. NOT fun.