Give me some sneakers

www.delias.com


I've gotten into sneakers lately. Colourful, funky ones like those above.

I clashed with my mum yesterday. I've had a few major arguments with her this year for the first time. I think I'm usually a very tolerant person. I suppose it's eighteen years of pent-up anger and frustration finally being released. Why is it so hard to like my mum? It's her high standards and the fact that she wants everything done her way that creates tension. She never wants to think she's wrong. In such circumstances, the Yi Lin in the past would just have kept mum. Does this mean I've changed?

I feel that there are some shadows in our relationship that may never be fully resolved. For some time after my caretaker left my relationship with my mum was strained. But even though I do love and regard her as my mother now, I can't just forget the person who raised me. This person is responsible for embedding the seeds of many aspects of my character. I also can't forget the fact that my mum wasn't there in my life for eight years, for whatever reasons. Now that I'm older, I understand a little of the difficulty a woman may have balancing career and family, but to a child that doesn't mean anything. All she knows is that someone was there for her when the other wasn't. Do you know how terrible it feels to return home one day and not have your surrogate mother anymore? Didn't they think of the impact her departure would have on me? Nothing was planned properly at all. And now my mum tries to interfere in my life. Come on! I don't think I'm obliged to let her to when she hasn't helped me at all.

I think it'd take a few more years at least to erase these thoughts completely. Because that kind of trauma, you don't forget easily. Even when you've forgiven, you find that you haven't forgotten.

A post about fashion week

I've barely had time to check out the spring/summer 2009 collections. Right now, maybe because of my preparation for Japanese 'A's, I feel like owning one of Basso & Brooke's spring Japanese-print dresses:

www.style.com


Look what I saw on Facehunter- a woman wearing a kimono top!

Wheeee! How fun!

Checks

In shirts-





Dress-


Pants-



How do you know when you're desperate for more clothes? When you steal your dad's/ brother's checked shirt. The shirt I'm wearing in the first four photos as well as the 'dress' were rescued from a pile of clothes that they didn't want. This is the advantage of having brothers! The pants are from Mango but they were bought them from Salvation Army by my sis for me. She really knows what I like! I really like the fit and the print. We actually own a skirt in the exact same print (the skirt I'm wearing under the skirt). Well, there can never be too much of a good thing.

Art coursework

Art coursework has been a real test of my mental strength. My most trying period was after the September holidays when I had to cope with doing coursework, studying for H2 and H3 art prelims and preparing my IS and Japanese coursework for consultation all in one week. What's more, that was the period when I ran into some problems while doing my final pieces. It was a really rocky time for me, the worst I'd ever experienced in my entire school life. I'd do art from 8 in the morning to 7 something at night, then rush home and alternate between studying and typing my Japanese coursework. The cycle repeated itself everyday. My body in a mechanical mode. At some points I got so tired I wasn't thinking straight anymore. According to my sis, I laid on the bed and immediately blacked out a couple of nights when she was still playing videos. It was very frustrating for me to constantly face my pieces everyday which didn't seem to be working out. I felt like I would never finish.

I did finish though, and the result plus the feeling of pride and satisfaction I got made the experience completely worth it. To me, it is my biggest achievement in all my school years. One thing I found out is that when I'm really passionate and want to achieve something, I'm capable of going all out to get it. Like working non-stop and breaking only to have meals. I think I know now the value of hard work. I know what it means to be truly obsessed with something. Everyday art was on my mind, even when I went to sleep, and it was the first thing I thought of when I woke up every morning. Put into perspective, those petty crushes on boys must seem so trivial. That's not called obsession, I say.

I don't want to make it sound like it's all about me, cos it's not. The teachers really helped to guide and encourage me, especially my tutor. Without her, I'd have lost the direction of my work. I owe it to my classmates as well, who slogged along with me. That helped me so much! Their dedication to their work really made an impact on me. We're all so different in our styles, which manifests in our work, but one thing I trust we share is the love of art. Strangely, surviving on biscuits together is a bonding experience in itself! So today, we're going to properly celebrate the completion of our coursework with a party. It's a well-deserved celebration in my opinion. Kudos to us!

P.S. Scrubbed the floor of the gallery until my hands ached yesterday. The place looks so clean now, like a proper gallery. So excited for our exhibition!

YAY YAY YAY

Art coursework over, KI IS over, and I GOT AN A FOR ART PRELIMS! The grade was calculated 60% from coursework and 40% from SOVA (theory paper). YAY!!! I'm extraordinarily happy now. A FOR ART!

WOW my last post was nearly a month ago! So many things have happened since. It almost feels like I've changed more in the past month than I have in the whole of this year. I've got LOTS more to say but now's not the time to do it yet. I need some time to ease myself back into this. Soon.