Post-travel depression

Suffering from another bout of post-travel depression which seems to hit me whenever I return from abroad... in this case I feel oddly empty in the absence of a big crowd of relatives. And I miss my little cousin! Being the youngest in the family I never got the chance to be a big sister to someone else. The next time I see him is likely to be one year later. Sigh.

On a more positive note, next year is going to be a good one 'cos my (another) cousin's getting married! I'm excited 'cos this is the first time I'm experiencing the marriage of a close relative.

I'm feeling rather stressed now because I haven't had time to do my homework. The busiest time of the year hasn't even arrived and I'm so frazzled already. Depression could not have come at a worse time.

Chinese New Year has come again... bringing with it new clothes (more accurately, LOADS of new clothes). I always face this problem of having nowhere to wear my clothes to. Most of my days are spent in school wearing the dreary grey uniform. Grey is actually a very stylish colour, but on a uniform, coupled with the design, just makes one feel so, so tired after a looong school day.

Faced with the prospect of BRIGHT, new clothes, delicious food (homemade yu sheng!), meeting relatives I haven't seen for a year, a break from school and basically a change of scenery to Malaysia, how more lucky could I get? Must remind myself to get some homework done while I'm there!

Am I EVER unhappy? Definitely yes. Sometimes I can't even figure out exactly why I'm feeling moody. Do I ever feel like an abject failure? Slightly. At times like this I always remember all the things I'm blessed with. With every onset of fear, or loneliness, or dejection, I remind myself that I can't let these emotions control my life. Sometimes I question myself whether something that I'm doing is right. But I think ultimately there is no right thing, and there's only myself to answer to.