Studying

Today I studied. Duh. I'm sure most people were doing that. Actually, I only studied a bit of Japanese. Anyway, as i was studying, it came into my mind how some of us are studying for the wrong reasons. You'd be wrong to think that grades can buy happiness. Well of course there's the sense of elation that comes with a good grade, but there's only so much they can do. I've never really had much problem getting good grades. After a while, after many pats on my shoulders, looks of admiration and so on for a high test score, I've become numbed. I admit that I didn't really care about a high physics or chem test score. I do feel ashamed because other people are upset about their grades and here I am with a good score and I don't feel anything?! I feel other people are more deserving of my grade just because they care about it. That's why I gave up science. So what if I scored high in the tests? The marks didn't mean anything to me. My motivation to study hard in the past stemmed from my desire to gain attention from working parents I hardly spent time with. And sometimes, I worked hard because I felt certain people were underestimating me. I sought to prove them wrong. But I've come to realise that the most important thing is working hard for yourself. Work hard and strive to do well for things that really matter to you. That will ultimately give you a true sense of satisfaction.